I took a sip of my honey jack and ginger ale as the warm breeze brushed against my face. I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly as I let my eyes close and relaxed in my beach chair.
On a private island in the Bahamas disconnected from everyone back home and social media. Surrounded by those who I retreat with every MLK holiday weekend, plus some additional strangers who have turned into frans over the past 3 days.
I paused and thought about my life. Who am I? What am I doing? Where do I want to be?
As I took a moment to glance inwardly I hate to admit that I didn't even recognize parts of me anymore. Who is this woman? What changed?
I pinpointed the exact moment where things were altered and took inventory.
That weekend allowed me to disconnect and drown out all of the noise that was clouding me and my judgment.
I broke the dopamine loop and it was amazing. You know that high you get from wanting, seeking, and achieving. That high you get from posting something on social media and watching the likes roll in until it ceases and you repeat the cycle over and over.
Or maybe it's texting? That little lit up feeling when you hear or feel your phone go off indicating you have a new text message. The constant waiting and continuous dropping everything to respond.
Still don't know what I'm talking about? The Friend Zone podcast dove into this conversation, check it out HERE! Also there's a really good article on Psychology Today discussing this dopamine culprit as well!
I needed to disconnect. To pull away. A feeling that lingered when I got back to the states. Like I literally paused and braced myself as I took my phone off of airplane mode and all of the texts and alerts came rolling in.
And while I was dealing with some personal things upon my return I refrained from posting as well so I apologize for my lack of consistency over the past couple of weeks!
In this time, I figure out what I wanted, who I am, where I want to be, who I want apart of it, and got a little healing along the way which I'll get into next week!
I challenge you to take a moment or a few to pause and exhale so that you can break whatever dopamine loop you're in and get back to what really matters, you:) You're still the sun. #justbecauseitstuesday
**Challenge Check in: Remember when I said I'm trying to do one thing each month of 2017 that scares me. Well January I went on a cruise. I have this weirdness about water, thoughts that I could die out in the middle of the sea, kidnapped by pirates, food poisoning, icebergs etc. So yeah. I conquered that fear and had a blast :)
Be awesomely amazing,
xo Vanessa Michele